names for the vape store I am opening soon at 111 S 24th St W in Billings, Mt,

the grand opening of which is in a matter of weeks.

Here’s the thing, folks—I’m down to the wire. My whole staff was so excited to get the vape store off the ground that we forgot the best part: naming it.

  • Mamma Jamma Vapor and Accessories
  • Chapel of the Holy Vape
  • Colonel Vapor’s
  • Wacky Electronic Tobacky

Holy shit this post sucks. I can’t think of anything good. What a tired premise for a riff sesh! I thought this was gonna be hilarious.


  • Riff Sesh
  • Vape Cod
  • Cunt

Hmmmmm… Perhaps instead I should have premised this post around what to name our e-juice flavors, the flavors of e-juices for the vape. It is possible that it’s funnier to imagine flavors than it is names of places.

  • Dyspepsia
  • Arsenic and Old Ass

Oh fuck. Abandon ship! Abandon this post! Should’ve never left the fucking drafts!!

What the hell else do I have in this drafts folder? I have to salvage this. Here’s one that’s just called “man harpooned while eating bagel”—no text—just the title—wonder what was going on there.

“Ideas for saving the Republic”—no—now’s not the time—so passe—too normie at this point.

“Historically Significant Baseball Bats”—might table that one, actually…

Got an untitled post here… “think of what a melting snowman looks like? That is how I feel all of the time”

Actually, fuck this blog game. It’s time to hang this up like a… like a freakin’ dead possum. I’m gonna really open up that vape store. It’s real and I own it and it’s called Arsenic and Old Ass. The matter is settled! The deal is done. Boys—let’s hit the showers. We’ll try this all again on Monday.

Photo Credit: I don’t fucking know it’s not mine who cares.

What are you doing right now, anyway?: I’m watching The African Queen on my phone and idly shopping on the Chinese internet for a 55-inch flatscreen under $200.