Unused titles from my drafts folder

The race for the American Presidency will end with the United States being bombed

I was recently invited into the Illuminati

My negative Yelp review of the Life in Christ Lutheran Church

world is a fuck

⌊⊇ ‘¸\,/¸’ ⊂⌋

I Am Writing the Scenario for the NEXT Next Final Fantasy Game.

EXT. BURNING RUINS OF THE SLAUGHTERED INNOCENT VILLAGE

Image Credit: Getty
Work Status: Stalled
Caffeine Status: Full
World Status: a Fuck

a comprehensive list of things I want very much to have legitimate occasion to say, in life, at some point

are we clear?

ahem.

1. Do you think this is a fucking game? (preferably said while holding someone by their lapels against the wall, sneering, breathing directly up their nose) (Alternatively—or, if, in response to my question, they say “yes”—This is not a fucking game!)

2. (while driving something) Alright everybody, hold on—it’s about to get a little rough. (Also acceptable in place of “rough”: gnarly, sick, real, hardcore, loud, fast, deadly, insane, rad, lethal, surreal, heated, hectic, bumpin, bitchin, bangin, fucked, and gay.)

3. …you inbred, ingrate, Nazi piece of shit. (this is just a good insult. I like the alliterative aspects, and their subtlety.)

4. Grab my hand! I then pull my interlocutor from danger.

5. WAZZZZZZUUUUUUUUP

youtube rabbit hole: the 火車 meme